Thursday, April 28, 2011
In general, I don't like to talk about the suckage or a lack of control. I don't even like to pretend it exists. It is one thing for things to be crappy and out of control in reality but then to talk about them too? I guess for me to actually have to see the suckage in writing makes it real. Unwritten it feels like there is a chance it might just be bad mythology.
I know maybe it was a little superstitious but I thought maybe if I really just shutted up (that's a word, right) and just ran then maybe I would actually make it to the finish line at Boston.
That was a huge turning point mentally for me. I was excited again everyday to go out and run. I am not kidding. Every run I ran with a smile and sometimes there were tears of happiness. I was definitely the only person on the treadmill at the gym with a big fat smile on my face. I LOVED running again! It was awesomeness and deliciousness. Even sang as I ran at times.
Prior to February 6th I had so much anxiety about every run because it might hurt and I might not be able to finish the run, or worse would have to walk. I love running and love loving running but it is difficult to love something that continues to cause you pain. It really wears you down and it had got exceedingly difficult to be enthusiastic about doing something that I knew might really cause me some serious pain. Worse though, I was committed to 3 races. The biggest and the most awesome and longest sought after was the Boston marathon. It just loomed like an anvil over my psyche. I felt like I was letting running down. That probably makes no sense but truly, I felt guilty and sad about it. Honestly, I don't really know how to describe it right but just know this: it was a really negative bad all consuming feeling and I couldn't rid myself of it-- no matter how much sense it didn't make to feel like that.
Maybe that is depression. I don't know. I just know I didn't like it at all. It hurt me and it was ruining my quality of life. I am not purposely being dramatic or trying to illicit sympathy. I don't care for either. I just don't want to feel like that again. It sucked. Okay?
Originally, I had planned to start Boston training in December. December and January were going to be build months. February and March I was going to drop the hammer and pick up the pace. I had planned to have all weeks from mid December on to be over 50 miles with the occasional cut back to 40 and several peaks at 65 miles. A trail race on February 6th would be an A race and the Georgia marathon on March 20th I was planning to run as a 3:45 training run.
The reality was that in December and January I couldn't get my mileage over 40 miles without aggravating my hip. It would be okay and then out of no where the pain would flare and I would be limping. It didn't hurt when biked, swam, did yoga or weights. Only when I ran. And not every run. I still don't know what the problem is but switching to from neutral shoes to motion control shoes made a huge difference. But I didn't do that until the first week in February.
In January I couldn't run more than 40 miles a week without aggravating my hip. After my 11.5 trail race on Feb 6th--that ended up only being a training run--I logged my first 50+ mile week since October. I was able to run 54, 57, 60 the following 3 weeks too. I managed an 18 mile run and 3 21 mile runs during that time. I did a mid length run every week too that ranged 12 to 16 miles. I did 3-4 other runs every week too--1 treadmill of 4-7 miles, 1to2 6 mile easy hill runs and a 5 mile hilly trail run. I rode the bike/trainer twice a week. Yoga and strength training once a week too. My hip would still ache every now and again but everyday I woke up able to go out and run and completed every single workout I started. It was awesome and made me so happy.
In March it was time to cut back for the Georgia marathon. I ran 45ish with a 12 mid length and an 18 mile long run, then 40 miles the next week with two 14 mile runs and then 30 the week before the Ga marathon. At least I think it was something like that. My hip never hurt during the marathon and that was a huge confidence builder. 5 days after the marathon (where I ran 3:55 having dialed back the original goal of 3:45 to just sub 4) I ran 18.5 miles and finished the week with a peak of 65 miles. Then I began my taper for Boston and just hoped for the best.
I know this was probably a little boring and certainly self indulgent but when I write my Boston marathon recap I don't want to have to go into a lengthy explanation of my training.
Just consider this the preface to the novel.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
But alas I didn't quite catch her at Boston. Still, had a fabulous race! Details to come. Blogging from my phone at Logan airport while I have a Sam Adams and wait for my cheese Burger. Chip time was 3:33:57. Half was 1:45:27. So a little fade. But most important I RAN over the finish and nailed it with an exclamation cartwheel!
Friday, April 15, 2011
Natalie Fischer #146
Age: 39 Gender: F
Clock Time 3:59:26
Chip Time 3:55:27
Overall Place 493 / 2235
Gender Place 113 / 799
Division Place 15 / 140
Age Grade 59.9%
22 1Mi 3:16:32
This marked Ga Marathon number 5 for me and it was marathon unlucky number "13" for me. I signed up last year for the race for $35 way before I knew for sure I would be doing Boston. And certainly before I had a new litany of injuries. But regardless, Ga marathon was never going to be a goal race for me. I honestly don't think I will ever again toe the Ga marathon line with the intention of trying to run a personal best. I am not saying it couldn't happen but it is, I think, what most people would consider a tough course. So I just think if I ever happened to run a personal best on this course it would surely be bettered on a more forgiving course. But who am I kidding? Future personal bests. Snicker. I do think it is cute how optimism always creeps in. Blah blah, Hope is the thing with feathers blah blah nestles in the deep dark crevices of the soul blah blah.
Once I signed up for Boston in the fall I knew Ga marathon would have to be a training run. But then in January I was side lined and barely running so I was worried that I might be lucky if I could just do the half. As it turned out February was a solid training month for me and the Ga marathon would work perfectly--tongue firmly in cheek--as a long training run. The trick would be for me to not run the marathon too hard.
I no longer wear a watch in training (or racing for that matter) but for the past 4 or so years my long run pace falls in the 8:30 to 9: 00 min range. Weather, injury, and hormones being the deciding factor of whether my pace is closer to 8:30 or closer to 9:00 min miles. Based on that I knew my finish time for this year's race could be no faster than 3:45 and ideally no slower than 4 hours. However slower than 4 hours would be okay provided it was due to lingering at aid stations and socializing with spectators.
My BFF workout partner Steph was very nice and said I could run with her. She was shooting for 4 hours so it would work out perfectly. Steph is good at maintaining her pace and everything is just better with a friend. I was a little worried that she was sandbagging and was going to end up running sub 3:45. I had to have a serious talk with myself that if that happened I was just gonna have to let her go because Ga marathon was my practice marathon. Not my real marathon.
Practice makes perfect practice makes perfect practice makes perfect . . .
I decided to spend the night at my sister's. I've done this some years. Other years I've driven down to her house. Either way her husband drives and drops us at the start. It was a rather uneventful evening so I'll spare you the details.
However, at 3 am I was awaken by a raging headache, cramps and back ache. If you're a dude you are probably thinking stomach flu; if you are girl, you know the issue at hand. Let's just say the white skirt I had wanted to wear for the marathon got replaced by the black skirt. Let's also say that I have never had to make that choice on race morning ever.
Rather than be angry at the things I cannot control I took it as a sign that universe was keeping me in check. So with the universe's help and some Motrin--something else I have never taken race day or before a run-- I got dressed and ready for the race.
Wes dropped (left to right) Christina, Pookie (my sister), me and Shannon at Luckie St and we wandered down the race. The other girls were doing the half so we parted ways so I could go find Steph.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
And while I have been thinking and doing everything else but what I need to be doing I have been singing a song. I've just been walking around my house, still in pj's, singing it. I've been humming the tune since I got up this morning at 6 am. Finally around 8am I realize I can't even remember how the original song goes because I've been singing my version. In fact I can't even remember who sings the song or the real title of the song I am singing. And I certainly can't call someone and say, Hey listen...and hum the tune for them. Then ask them the name of the song and who sings it because I am so tone deaf that I can't replicate the song I am hearing in my head. I know this because I've been in this situation before and no one ever knows and they just laugh at me. I am THAT tone deaf. Yes, it is embarrassing. But sing still I do!
So I waste 30 minutes with my best friend Google trying to find the correct version of the song I am singing.The only things I know about the song is that it is from the 70's,--I think. I am certain it is sung by a woman. I am almost positive that my mom owned a record (ha!) with this song on it and use to sing it when she once upon a time played the guitar. I do contemplate calling my mom and I do know that she will probably be able to figure it out for me but that will be last resort. I am not ready to be made of yet this morning. I am on edge, Fragile, even. I am trapped under an imaginary giant and disorganized pile of clothes, shoes, toiletries and make up that I must squeeze and organize into a teeny tiny carry on suitcase.
But I found it! All on my own! Yay! Success! Accomplishment!
First though, this was the lyrics I was singing:
It's making me late
Keepin' my crazzzzyyy
Based on that can you guess the original?
I was so close with my first search of "Infatuation" and Joni Mitchell.
But then Carly Simon popped in my head and viola!
Anticipation. Procrastination. It really is just semantics.
Saturday, April 09, 2011
Thursday, April 07, 2011
Looking fly and feeling like butter!
At least that is the hope...
6 pockets! I'll be more marsupial than runner! Hopefully more bounding kangaroo than cuddly koala bear.
Northface dyn o mite tank.
Brooks Epiphany skirt.
Moeben arm sleeves.