Greasing the Chain of a False Analogy

100 miles is a lot farther than 60 miles.

This is what the Mainstay texted me last night. Along with a bunch of other texts served, I think, to psyche me out:

lots of carbs tonight! Steak and baked potatoes tomorrow. Eat like you are in a contest--lots of water and Gatorade tomorrow.

I responded that I always eat like I am in a contest. But, nevertheless, I did eat a lot yesterday. But, then again, I always eat a lot.


Gel or three bloks an hour during ride. At least one big bottle an hour. And munch on bars the whole ride. Tips to success from THE MAINSTAY!

I am fairly certain that The Mainstay was referring to water in "one big bottle" advice but knowing him as I do part of me does wonder if he meant a fifth of something. I probably should have asked for clarification on that point. At any rate I responded to the text that if I eat like that I am going to gain weight on the ride. And to that he wrote, after he told me that I would be burning a bazillion calories:

don't call me when you bonk at miles 90

Hey, and don't call me when you bonk the final lap of your crit and find yourself a bridesmaid. Oh, ouch. But hey, good luck.

Finally, when I asked if he thought it was a bad idea that instead of cycling this past week I have run 43 miles instead. He wrote:

I guess we will find out Saturday afternoon!

I am sure there is a lot of truth to what he says. But I also know this is his MO as I have witnessed him try to take Colby down this way. And I suppose the smack talking did work in that case since Colby got taken out by a wreck--though the wreck wasn't his fault--in the Roswell Crit.

So I am taking it with a grain of salt. And while that may sound like I am not heeding the advice it is quite the contrary. I take salt very seriously. I love salt. I eat a lot of salt. I crave it. I need it. In fact, I just had some salt for breakfast. Sure it was on a bagel with cream cheese but the primary component of that breakfast was definitely salt.

In all honesty though I think I am just not taking this century ride serious enough. And I am certain I will be handed my sore ass on saddle tomorrow as a result of my lackadaisical approach.

But I am sorry. I can't help it.

I am a runner.

And I think running is the hardest physical thing I do--well, aside from raising Beau.

Please, don't misunderstand me. I definitely think cycling is hard but the fact that you do it sitting down just makes it in my mind less of a challenge than running.

Really, I guess I have been thinking about this century ride as a marathon that I get to do sitting down.

I know.

I am trying to compare sprockets to strides. Which as much as I try is probably just not comparable. I guess it will be a bit of an athletic experiment to see if being an endurance runner can prepare you to be an endurance cyclist. But I am placing my bets on that it works out.

What is my scientific basis you might wonder?

Well, The Mainstay did run the Peachtree one year(albeit that's just a 10k) with almost no running. And he put up a not too shabby 53 minute for a crowded, hilly, hot and humid race. Granted there are some holes in my scientific basis but surely if I can run marathons I can do a century. Right? After all, I do cycle more than The Mainstay runs. Then again, he does have youth on his side. . .

At this point the sane and rational side of my brain is most definitely wondering how in the hell I arrived at that riding in a century would be a great idea. Even more so, it is completely boggled as to why I thought I could do it.

But of course the insane and irrational side that unfortunately occupies 90% of my brain knows with almost certainty that come tomorrow afternoon-- just like after the 6 marathons I have done-- I will be happy, probably even proud of myself, for taking on such an endeavor and that I won't regret it. The tough part, of course, will be getting that 10% sane part of myself through the 100 miles. That 10% part of my brain can become quite loud and obnoxious.