Reiterating Lessons in Redundancy

First word of the lesson is stupid.
The second word is dumb.
And the third?
Aquafit.

Wait, maybe that is should be sub categorized under lessons in oxymoron . . .

So Beau's word du jour is stupid. This is a taboo word-- just like poopy is among the preschool/kindergarten set. Saying it is their equivalent of cussing. For real cuss words or phrases they actually have cute substitutions: tarter sauce, cheese and rice, chicken nuggets, moose etc. But saying stupid and poopy is thrilling for them. Saying it always garners them much attention--both negative and positive.

Me? I try to ignore it. When Carmella went through this stage I just had to tell her using stupid to describe everything was unimaginable and using poopy all the time unseemly. She stopped saying those words.

Beau though only cares about the attention getting part. Being unseemly or unimaginative is inconsequential to him. Being funny is more important. Recently he added dumb to ever so expansive vocabulary. Just so you know it is a vocabulary that only includes 3 adjectives: stupid, dumb and boring.

After yet another morning of waking up to everything being stupid and dumb I intoned my best Charlie Brown's teacher voice and told Beau that it was redundant to say something is both stupid and dumb. Explaining that to use two words that mean the same thing makes him look, well, dumb. I told him he should try to be more creative with his descriptions.

To this Beau told me that I was stupid. And dumb.

And I told him this was his warning: Call me stupid or dumb again and you will be punished in your room.

Of course Beau having to test it muttered, stupid, under his breath.

Off to his room.

Crying, screaming and pleading ensued.

Are you going to be nice? I asked through the door.

Yes!

Are you going to say stupid or dumb again?

No!

Okay, 2 more minutes and you can come out if your room is perfectly clean.

Stupid!

You said stupid. 4 more minutes.

Screaming, toys being thrown around, kicking, everything is stupid, dumb or boring. Rinse and repeat.

I had to let him out because I wanted to swim this morning and my time spent punishing my 4 year old had met its limit. Unlike some, I can't sit around and play super nanny and the naughty chair all day. I's got things to do.

This week has not been my week as far as workouts are concerned. This is especially troubling since I need to get on it because I am officially signed up for the South Carolina Half Ironman at the end of September.

My workouts have been thwarted all week. Various reasons: Sam's out of town (no 5 am running), Ryan coming home late, unavailable sitters, afternoon thunderstorms, melting down children, fever, headache etc. Only on my birthday did I get 2 hours to run--by myself-- but even that kinda sucked since it was 80 degrees by the time I finally got to start my run. Rest of my runs have been with the kids while they ride their bikes. This is okay but they still have to stop a few times during a 6 mile run. I don't usually stop at all unless the run is over 10 miles. Then yesterday my only planned bike ride got rained out and I only did 15 miles of the 40+ I had wanted to.

So I was optimistic about a good swim this morning. Swimming Friday evenings is more like getting a chemical peel than a workout so I try to avoid leaving my swim for Friday evenings. The thought of Aquafit did enter my brain but I thought surely the gym didn't offer Aquafit everyday. Who could possibly want to take that stupid class everyday?

I only had about an hour window since Carmella has her allergy testing appointment at 11 am this morning and the gym nursery doesn't open until 8:00. I wanted to be home by 9:30 so I could shower and get us to the appointment in time. However Beau and I's ongoing battle of wills ate into my time and we didn't make it to the gym until 8:40. I checked the schedule before heading back to the pool. Aquafit 9 am. Argghhh....

So we left. You'd think by now I would know to check the freaking schedule. This is not the first time this has happened.

Talk about stupid.

Dumb.

Oh and don't you know it. Of course when I told Beau we had to leave he wasn't happy and had a fit (not an aquafit, mind you).

Stupid! Dumb! He said.

So now he is again in his room; being punished for saying stupid and dumb.

Stupid is as stupid does . . .
Like stupid like dumb . . .
The best laid plans of stupid and dumb . . .
The stupid leading the dumb (to aquafit) . . .

If it rains again this afternoon I guess I will be getting a chemical peel after all.

You know what they say: If the stupid fits . . .