Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Heal Thyself

Look at me! Wheee! I'm all metaphysical. Believe and it will be. What a positive force in the universe am I.
Shalom.
Or is it Namaste?
Whatever.
Clearly, the Christmas spirit has a hold on me.

It's the MOST wonderful time of the year . . .

Uhm. No.

I am STILL sick as shit. EIGHT days of hacking. I've penned a very original song about my plight. Let me clear my throat and I shall sing it for you.
er uhm
er uhm
Er HUM.

Nevermind.

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me a sore and scratchy throat.

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me fever, aches and chill and a sore and scratchy throat.

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me a barking cough, fever, aches and chills and a sore and scratchy throat.

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me many gelatinous globs of mucus, a barking cough, fever, aches and chills and a sore and scratchy throat.

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me SINUS CONGESTION!
Many gelatinous globs of mucus, a barking cough, fever, aches and chills and a sore and scratchy throat.

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me a red and runny nose, SINUS CONGESTION! Many gelatinous globs of mucus, a barking cough, fever aches and chills and a sore and scratchy throat.

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me shortness of breath, a red and runny nose, SINUS CONGESTION! Many gelatinous globs of mucus, a barking cough, fever,aches and chills and a sore and scratchy throat.

On the eight day of Christmas my true love gave to me 2 swollen watery eyes, shortness of breath, a read and runny nose, SINUS CONGESTION! Many gelatinous globs of mucus, a barking cough, fever, aches and chills and a sore and scratchy throat.

Fucking true love.
We're done.

I'm willing myself well. I am tired of coughing, sick of the foul taste of mucus and most of all I miss running. I've been patient. FOUR. That's right FOUR straight days of no running, biking, swimming, yoga, weights, walking. Nothing. Nada. The only time my heart rate has gone up is from my marathon coughing fits. This is ridiculous.

I'm done with this cold. I need my fucking endorphins.Understandably, I just can't possibly be expected to be nice, bright or merry. Unfortunately, I really need to be all of those things and full of good will since I am in the kids classrooms this week teaching an art lesson, attending class parties and working the reindeer centers (don't ask). So cold be damned, cough may kill me but I am running today.

6 comments:

  1. K. I'm going to go hide now until you feel better :-)

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  2. Germs! It's clearly a coordinated attack by the microscopic against Atlanta's athlete bloggers!

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  3. And obviously a fowl mouth too. Why are you taking your miserable cold to the kids at school? Stay home and keep it to yourself! Feel better soon.

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  4. Hey Ms Natalie,

    That stuff must be pretty powerful...you've been battling it for such a long time

    I can't believe how patient, reserved and calm you've been all through it...I would be crawling the walls! ;o)

    Get well Ms Natalie!
    Charlie

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  5. You've been sick for a very long time, maybe it's time to see a doctor? He might be able to prescribe a stronger flu drug and/or shot.

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  6. My true love gave me syphillis. You win! :)

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