Thursday, October 04, 2007

The Universe is NOT Conspiring Against Me!!!!

At least for today it is not.

Okay. Seriously. Who did it?

Okay, seriously, I don't really don't care who did it but please do it again.

So today I am backing out of my driveway and I notice something in my driver's side rear view mirror. I am in the middle of the street not completely sure what I am seeing. I know what I think I see-- but it doesn't make any sense. Still in the middle of the road, I roll down my window, adjust the mirror and low in behold I pull out from beind the mirror a one dollar bill. Upon closer investigation I also find a ten dollar bill. I check again, hoping for a hundred, but eleven bucks was it.

How weird is that?

Wait, I'm sorry. How cool is that?

My car? It makes money!

I check the left side mirror but no money.

Still $11 I didn't have earlier today. I'll take it. For sure. I'll take every red penny the universe is willing to toss my way.

I guess today was a good day.

Because then later I went to TJMaxx. You know, just pursue the racks because I was in the shopping center buying Dags-- Steph's youngest a really cool birthday gift.

So anyway, I found on the clearance rack a pair of Seven jeans. Unlike my new brother in law Wes, it is rumored, who buys $400 dollar jeans for himself. I don't know what $400 jeans do for him but I would never spend more than $50 on jeans. In fact usually I find most of my jeans on the clearance rack at the Gap for under $20. At any rate though, Seven jeans are legendary amongst the young suburban mommy set. But personally for me to shell out over $100 for jeans I'm going to need them to work a miracle and make me look like Gisele Bundchen. So while in the past I thought Seven did nice things there just wasn't the magic I was looking for to justify the price tag. See, I can be reasonable.

It doesn't matter though. Even if I could afford it most of the time I can't get my calves into these designer jeans anyway--and even if I manage that I still have to fight them over the my casting-shadows-on-the-knee-quads. And if I manage to pull them all the way up usually the only thing holding them up is my thighs and my butt, waist, and hips are swimming. Way too much ass-mo-phere, if you know what I mean.

Jeans, I have found, are not made for the runner.

Anyway, I figured what the heck. It won't hurt to try them on.


They were a size 24.

I know I was really reaching here and being ridiculously optimistic. I think I am a 26, maybe on good day a 25 and some days probably a 27. But really, what do I know? Remember, I buy my jeans at the Gap or Express and they are sized 0, 2, 4, 6 etc.

So I pulled a bunch of other jeans back there with me. Rock and Republic, Guess, Antik Denim, and other brands I had never heard of. I saved the Seven's for last. I guess I was having a good or wait, really, magic dressing room day because everything fit. Well except those Antik Denims. Which upon further inspection I found they were a 29 not a 26 as I thought. Even still they were totally tight in the leg and wouldn't stay up.

I am so wrongly shaped.

So finally I pull on the Seven's.
They slide easily over my calves.
Then over my thighs.
Okay, maybe not slide-- who am I kidding, all my jeans are tight in the thigh. Like Johnny Cash wears the black there's a reason why I wear skirt.
Then wonders of all wonders right over the butt and hips and low slung on the waist zipper up, no sucking in and button fastened. Holy moly. They FIT!

Clearly, these jeans are marked wrong because I have never been 24 in the waist but who cares!
I scored $150 jeans for $40!

They are awesome and now, after 6 years I feel like true suburban housewife!

So I am guessing tomorrow they probably won't fit me and the magic will end. But whatever today they do and today I got eleven dollars.

Oh, so really, if you think about it; I got Seven jeans for only $29!
Yeah me.
Of course, this probably means tomorrow will suck. I hold no illusions about how the universe works.


  1. Hooray! Free cash is always good.

    I've found that the jeans made for the, um, urban? bodies fit me better. Those Seven jeans usually are made for women with no ass, which is not me. Let that be a lesson - hip-hop, good; Giselle, bad. I'm so glad that you found a good pair!

  2. Hence why they fit me I guess because I got no back. The legs though are different story. My guess is most gals with no booty and no hips also have tooth pick legs. Me? I got fence posts.

    Free cash is good. So I guess it wasn't you. Someone must be paying it forward.

  3. I can't wait to go check my car! Maybe your car will give you little gifts every day. Somehow I can't help but think the kids have something to do with this. lala

  4. How totally cool! Enjoy your day of good fortune.

  5. Jeans are not meant for the runner - especially the runners that do not do sit-ups........ ;)
    BUT, I love that you have had such a great day!!!

    Love ya!

  6. did anyone who attended Sarah's wedding and reads Nat's blog leave a cream Talbot's sweater here? It's a cardigan with lace around the bottom. If it's yours it's at my house. I hope you can remember more about the reception than I can-it was ALL a blur. Lala