Sunday, July 06, 2008

Because I am Easy And Also Because I Want a Gay Husband

Just to clarify.
I want a gay husband in addition to the straight one.
Cause me?
Not only am I easy . . .
I am also greedy.
When I was first married to Ryan I told my mother in law (aka, Bubbles) that I was easy to get along with. She just needed to buy me presents.
I explained, you can buy my love.
See how uncomplicated I am?
Buy me presents.
And instantly, you are forgiven and I love you.

And when I went to Nashville to run the Country Music Marathon in April both Fishstick and I decided we wanted gay husbands. I even called Lala while I was there to tell her I wanted one. I told her all about his beautiful and immaculate car (Fishstick really wanted his car), the impeccably decorated and remodeled house (with the original the art!), the quaintly manicured lawn, and how we went shopping. Lala was not at all surprised. Apparently, everyone wants a gay husband too. I am not unique.

And maybe Catherine can come up with a whole blog along with 10 reasons why she loves him but I only need two.

1.) He remembered my birthday.
2.) Most important, he bought me a present.

It is funny. He thinks it is about him.

But really, after what? 19 years. He should know that it is all about me.

And yes Chris, I will concede that you are the younger one but you are going to have to fight me for the prettier part.

So what was my present? A new charger for my Garmin! Oh happy am I? So VERy happy cause now I get to know how fast and exactly how far I am running. No more painfully mapping out the runs on the map my run site and then calculating the pace.
I will know.
Because now?
Now my Garmin works!

Thanks so much Chris! Perfect! But I suspect you already knew that. . .

I have to say Chris. I was actually thinking about my Garmin while I was running yesterday. I had forgotten to note the time I left the house and I felt I was running a pretty decent pace and really wanted to know what it was. I vowed while blazing down the trail that I was going to suck it up and buy a new charger. Imagine how excited I was to come home and find out I had not only gotten a present (always very exciting) in the mail but the present was the very thing I wanted.

Of course the only bad thing about all of this is that I have to turn 37 tomorrow (just when I was getting my mind around being 36.) But, then again, the silver lining, I suppose, is that everyone else still has one more day to try and buy my love.

**Peachtree Race pictures coming . . .


  1. Confusing that you have apparently already opened your birthday present, even though your birthday is tomorrow. Remind me to tell Beau about this sometime, right before Christmas...

    Yes, I knew it was the perfect present. Things are not worth doing if they are not perfect. It is not really the thought that counts.

    In that same regard, I thought the card was almost more perfect than the present.

  2. What should Lala get fishwife for her birthday? Need ideas FAST! Do you want me to make you a 1234 cake Nat?

  3. Nat - it's ALL good. You may be turning 37, but from one triathlete to another, you are a smokin hot 37. So no worries. And yes, gay husband would be awesome. I need some decorating help.

    Happy Birthday!

  4. Oh happy day! Now your wiredness is back! : )

  5. I am a gay husband. I'm a lesbian...

  6. Where in the world did your husband get those tiger print pants? Did he steal those pants from Cher? Are you sure he's not already gay?? Isn't a gay husband and a straight husband be a bi-husband? I'd be lost without my toys, and my Garmin is my Numero Uno toy!!