Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Cue Music

Last night I dreamed that the half iron man took me over 9 hours to complete. 7 hours were on the bike. For 56 miles. It didn't even take me 7 hours to ride 100 miles but whatever. I am losing it. Good news is (in my dream at least) my swim and run totally rocked.

But you know, if you are finishing a half ironman in 9 hours it really doesn't matter how fast you swim or run because you just plain suck. Especially since the cut off time is 8 hours.


And the whole wetsuit thing admittedly has me totally freaked out. And I very very much appreciate all the people--even those who don't really know me--that have emailed me and offered to lend me their suits. Triathletes are way nice, is all I can say.

In my fit of panic yesterday, while Ryan and I were at REI getting stuff I found a wetsuit on the clearance rack in my size. It was the only wetsuit in the whole store. Knowing all that I know about wetsuits (uhm, nothing) I figured it might work. So I bought it and figured I would look online and ask around if it would work.

The opinions I got were a resounding no with some kindly optimistic "try it out and see and return it if not" suggestions.

Steph and Doug allowed me to come along and practice wetsuit fun in their neighborhood pool this morning.

You know, I am constantly finding myself in the position that I might be interrupting some some afternoon (or in this case morning) delight plans they might have.

But I guess until they blatantly tell me to get lost they are stuck with me.

I pretty much knew as soon as I had on my suit which took all of one minute and was 5 minutes after Doug had started putting on his suit and was still struggling with his--that mine wasn't going to work.

It was too easy to put on.

But that just gave me time to take pictures of them while they struggled into theirs.
Another difference I noted was that mine only took me to put on.
They needed each other to get theirs on.

See why I think I might be foiling some husband and wife plans?

Nevertheless I gamely hopped in the pool and swam a 50. I knew it wasn't going to work at all. I especially didn't like that it had water in it ( which Doug and Steph said was normal but it felt like too much). I am not certain it weighed me down so much but it definitely didn't make me feel buoyant. I felt slower. Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't. But I didn't feel that I-am-wetsuit-I-am-faster-magic everyone keeps yammering on about. I could see the buoyant thing working for Doug and Steph. They floated. I had to use my arms and legs and body to, you know, get it through and on top of the water. I think that is the part they refer to as "swimming."

I stripped out of it and swam 2000 yds sans suit--wait, I did have my swim suit on. Good news is the water was much colder than any water I ever swim in and I was fine so I am a teeny tiny bit hopeful that I will be okay without a suit.

So what if I am last because I am not wearing a wetsuit.

Doug suggested I call everyone wearing one a cheater. And I thought I might even say here "kitty kitty kitty" too as well.

But the fun didn't end with the swim. So besides my swim and the trail run I did before meeting Steph and Doug I got in another cool workout today.

All I can say is please dear baby Jesus do not let me get a flat tire.

Okay, I lied. I totally have a lot more to say than that.

You bitches totally lied to me. It is not easy. It is totally worth it, not to mention faster, to drive over to Roswell bikes and pay them 12 dollars to do it.

But for your entertainment I had Ryan photograph the evidence that I learned how to change a bike tire.

Please note that there is no video. And that is because the amount of cussing and yelling that went into putting the tire and tube on the wheel would probably have my blog flagged for inappropriate material. But to my defense I only had one melt down where I came inside to consult and then cuss out while I watched this youtube video (which I had used as my guidance).

Here I am getting down to business:
Happy am I! Got wheel off. Ryan took it off for me and I made him put it back on so I could take it off all by myself.
I. Did. It!

Putting tube and tire back on the rim.
This is the beginning of where I start to lose my shit.

The kids got onto me to "keep it together". Oh, and they were running all around me while this was going on. Like clowns I tell you.
I figured it might sort of simulate race conditions to have pandemonium going on so I didn't tell them to get lost.
But boy. Was I pissed. Not easy. At all. Liars!
See this face? This is that look I give that scares the kids into acting good.
It is not a happy face.
But I got the tube and tire on the wheel and then the wheel back on my bike. I am thinking though I should take it to my friends at Roswell Bikes just to make sure I have it on right.

The real question now is if I get a flat will I have the energy to ride my bike after I change a tire?
No, probably not.
And that my friends, I am guessing, is how a 7 hour bike will go down.

Please baby Jesus do not let me get a flat tire.


  1. ROFL... You wore gloves? I think that adds 6 hours to a tire change ;-)

  2. What's with the gloves?

  3. Uh, yah, the gloves add time. Hee. I like the pictures, they are a nice supplement. You look v. angry.

    And yes, thank the sweet baby jesus, you will not get a flat because now you know how to change one. And that's how it works.

    Rock on Nat. Rock on.

    Oh, and I do not feel faster in my wetsuit. It just feels like I'm choking.

  4. Yeah, I have to agree that the gloves slow you down. Dexterity is required for tire-changing and unless you've got some biohazard on your tire, no need for gloves.

    And, I feel like I'm choking in the wetsuit too. Floating, but also choking.

  5. you must have just had a manicure. Or you can't seem to do anything without an "outfit". Were the gloves you tire changing outfit?

  6. HA! Is all I can say, since everyone already commented on the gloves.

    I know, I know. Soon...

    And, the calf is fine. Going for 10-ish this Sat, as my MLR before the half in 2 weeks.

  7. Re the gloves.

    I didn't want to get my hands dirty. Not only do I have a tendancy to break everything I am also very messy.

    In college in my pottery class they nicked named me Pig Pen and noone wanted to be on the wheel next me.

    But yes. I had to ditch the glvoes to get the tire back on the rim.

  8. Well the first time isn't easy.. it's just one of those things you will get better at with practice. Then it's easy. Plus I have a Mt Bike so the tires are wider and that may help.