Sunday, February 04, 2007

Post-Coital Caviar

I actually watched the Superbowl this year. So I can make a semi-informed post-bowl post.

So proud. So very, very proud.

Okay, so what if I didn't know until it started who was even playing. It doesn't matter that I don't follow football. Unfortunately for me (well it wasn't truly unfortunate since I didn't place bets or anything-- I just in general hate not winning)I mistakenly decided to root for the Bears.

Why the Bears and not the Colts?

Well, you see--it's like this:

I would rather live in Chicago than Indianapolis.

And now my secret is out.

My very scientific way of picking teams is to choose the team from the place where I would rather live. Now if both teams are from cool places-- like say Denver and San Francisco-- then I go by who has the better outfits. In case you are wondering, I did like the Colts' outfits better than Bears' but then as mascots go I am more a teddy bear girl than horse girl--so the Bears win again.
Anyway, goooo Chicago!!! Next year!
Besides, I hear they put on an awesome marathon. . .

Normally we go to a Superbowl party and I don't watch one second of the game--except maybe the halftime show-- and instead chat it up with the girls. But we didn't go to any parties this year and it is just as well since I have a kindergartner who has to be in bed early.

I wasn't totally bored but was sort of busy with the kids the first half and I missed a good bit of the game so I only have a Superbowl Top 5 (--okay, really I only have 5 because I am just not a football fan and honestly I can't come up with more than 5):

#5 I thought is was funny that it rained.
Why? Well, along with being a complainer I can also be the tiniest bit petty. And since it rained and I had bad weather during my marathon--the marathon that I spent 3 months training for--I thought it only a little fair that other athletes have to suffer in foul weather too for their sport. And it was kinda an an-eh on the people that spent bu coo bucks to sit in a stadium in the rain to watch football.

#4 Mr.Turkey Neck.
The Fed Ex commercial in the-- I think-- last quarter, maybe the 3rd. I have no idea what was said but I had a really good chuckle when she said "Mr. Turkey Neck". And since I thought most of all the previous commercials were rather lame it was nice to finally get a good laugh.

#3 The K-Fed commercial.
That was hilarious. I loved it. And I am sure his public rating will go up a good bit for that since I think most people in this country appreciate someone that can laugh at themselves-- even if they are capitalizing on it.

#2 Prince
This should be first because that was the highlight of the SBXLI and was absolutely the best halftime show I have ever seen-- Janet Jackson's bewbie not withstanding. I think we have a new Godfather(--my apologies to James Brown fans but I prefer Prince).
The half time show is not first only because I am still giggling and puzzled over Ryan's little gem. Which bring us to . . .

#1 Ryan's "post-coital caviar"
The caviar he is going to enjoy after he has sex with Oprah.
Oh, and that I am "not to worry," since he will make sure the kids and I "are taken care of."

Here is the context for #1: At some point in the game I heard the announcer guy saying that some player wants to date Oprah. And I mused out loud what would a young and probably famous or at least semi famous football player want to date Oprah for? Not that Oprah is painful to look at but Oprah is, what? 50 and I guess I just assumed that a young football jock would want, well, you know, some young hawt thang. And Ryan responded--when I really wasn't looking for a response that "Who wouldn't want to date Oprah!"
Apparently, Oprah's billions make her super hawt--at least to my husband.

Really, knowing him, I shouldn't be surprised by this but it does at times make me wonder why he married me. (Oh right, Oprah ran a marathon too.)


  1. Prince is awesome. Didn't you go see him last year or rather the year before? Did I make that up? I make stuff sometimes.