Sunday, June 15, 2008

On Eating Crow and Playing I Never

Ever play?
Well for Lala and anyone else who has never heard of I Never it is a drinking game. Well, I suppose you could play without alcohol but I suspect you need the lowered inhibitions for the game to be any fun.

How you play is someone will say “Never have I ever . . . “ and say something that they have never done or maybe have done. And if anyone in the group has done it they have to drink. Of course this game is very boring if you say stuff like “Never have I ever drank milk.” I am sure you can imagine --without me going into details-- exactly what sort of things make this game interesting. An alternate name for this game might be “Skeletons in my Closet” or "How to Learn Your Friends Deepest Darkest Most Embarrassing and Personal Secrets". And this is why when you play the game you hope that everyone else is way more shitfaced than you so that they will not recall any of your secrets the next morning. To say the least this is not a game you play with your parents. So we will NOT be playing this game on our beach trip this week.

Yes, that's right. I am at Hilton Head Island. With my parents, Ryan's parents, kids, cousins and siblings. So no, we will most definitely NOT being playing I Never. But of course there will be drinking.

However, I did play this game frequently in college. And I should say that I did not play it frequently because I initiated it but I Never, along with 21, Bullshit, Quarters and my personal favorite, --well, at least when I was President-- Asshole were just what we did in college. Maybe there was some studying and other stuff that went on but a lot of nights were spent with beer and friends sitting at table in someones kitchen playing some drinking game. Because you know. You just can't sit there and sip your drink and go home. That would be boring. Plus you have an excuse for drinking too much. It was the game and everyone knows nobody likes a quitter. You had to play. And playing meant drinking which led to being drunk. And often, vomiting.

I am operating under the assumption that this is what everyone did when they were in college. So surely, you college educated readers know of what I speak.

Anyway, in particular, one I Never game I recall,--- okay have a very fuzzy and vague memory of--is sitting at Yvonne’s downtown apartment in Athens. I can’t remember exactly who all was there but I know Anne and Jason were definitely there. Probably also Kevin, Andy, Yvonne, Sue and Charlie. Maybe Steph. We had been out drinking,--of course-- and had settled after the bars closed at Yvonne’s. I am pretty sure we had played I Never before but this time, I am guessing since we were already drunk the game became strip I Never. By the end we were all just sitting there naked trying to cover ourselves with Yvonne’s couch pillows. It was very challenging when you had to go to the potty and tried to strategically move your pillows around your body. I promise that I Never did not turn into anything else.

Anyway, this memory popped in my head because lately I have been thinking about all the things I have said I would never ever do yet here at almost 37 years old (July 7th, hint hint) find myself doing or have done. Like what? Well, for sure this a lot but to name a few significant ones that pretty much define who I am now are: I once said with absolute certainty that I would never ever get married because no way would I ever find someone who didn’t eventually get on my nerves. And while certainly Ryan can rake my last nerve at times after nine years it is still way less than anyone else I have ever known. I also said I would never ever have kids. I said that at 25 years old. Then Ryan and I started dating and some clock I didn’t even know I had started ticking. Though thankfully that clock has since stopped. But still I know better than to say never on no more kids.

I also said, many times, I would never ever be a runner. And even once I became a running addict I said I would never run a marathon and that I would never be one of those people that get up early and run at the crack of dawn or in inclement weather or on trails or at night or after a few beers and on and on.

I just think it is best if I never say never.

And for sure there are some things I said I would never do and I still haven’t done and don't plan on doing--like jump out of plane, bungee jump, or dive off a cliff. Mostly that is because I am afraid of heights. It is not a real phobia like Joe’s needle phobia (Oh My God Joe! Rabies!!!! Talk about great blogging material. . .) but it just makes me feel a tad ill and completely nervous to look down on things from a distance. So I feel I can say with almost 100% assurance that those are things you will never see me willing do. But again, you never know.

However, without a shadow of a doubt I can promise you that I will never ever play I Never with my parents or my kids. That is definitely one case where the crow lives and I go hungry. But you know, in the case of other situations I found this helpful link with some tasty crow recipes. I am thinking the Crow in a Blanket is probably best because Lord knows everything is better with bacon.

Last week:
I got some very nice and hard treadmill runs in. In particular 10 miles on the treadmill in an hour and 17 minutes. Definitely a test of my perseverance.
Running: 43 miles
Cycling: 28 miles
Swimming: 2,400 yds


  1. Sky diving and bungee jumping? Hell yes. Playing "I never?" Absolutely not...

  2. Never have I ever played "strip" I never.

    Also never have I ever forgotten any drinking games I have played.

  3. Thanks for taking the rest of us down with you when you dish the dirt on your site!

    I do remember that night, vaguely. But I didn't remember that it was "I never." Not saying that it wasn't, just that I don't remember.

    That was a cool apartment. Sometimes I miss playing drinking games. That would be a fun party.

  4. There was a saying in the military,,,,,well,,,,besides Don't ask, Don't tell. It was,,, "I can neither confirm or deny, etc etc"

    That is the phrase I use regarding many late nights in college. But I never, never, ever, played I never. Well,,,,,at least I don't remember anyway. We played strip monopoly and strip Risk once. That was fun.

  5. So many good memories!
    Have fun at the beach sista.


  6. I was not at this game - try to avoid the naked ones.